You Had Me at Hello: The Art of Donor Courtship and the Perfectly Timed Ask

Successful fundraising rarely begins with the ask. After all, you wouldn’t propose marriage before you’ve even held hands! Meaningful philanthropy grows out of connection — the thoughtful courtship that builds trust, excitement, and belief in your mission.

In the high-pressure world of budgets and fundraising goals, even experienced nonprofit professionals can feel tempted to rush the process. When the numbers loom large, it’s easy to jump straight to the ask before the relationship is ready. But asking too soon often backfires—prospects go quiet, enthusiasm fades, and promising connections stall. In today’s environment, thoughtful donor courtship isn’t a luxury; it’s the difference between being ignored and embraced.

In this engaging and practical session, AJ Steinberg, CFRE, explores donor courtship — the intentional process of building trust, connection, and enthusiasm before inviting someone to give. Too often, nonprofits rush the ask before the relationship is ready, leaving potential donors feeling pressured rather than inspired.

Participants will learn how to guide prospects along a relationship journey, from the first hello to the moment they are genuinely excited to support your mission. Drawing on more than two decades producing nonprofit events and cultivating donors, AJ will share strategies for creating meaningful engagement opportunities, nurturing relationships over time, and recognizing the signals that indicate a donor is ready to give.